I was not actively ready to date again. Dr. Strange had not counted in my mind (sorry Dr. Strange!). Still, I decided to go on a date in January. Let’s call him Mr. Beach Workout. He DM’ed me after seeing me in my cousin’s Instagram Stories. He was really into the idea of having a first date at the beach to workout. I mean yes and yes—but not yes to both at the same time. Don’t make me sweat so much on a first date.

We came to the compromise of a hike. Unfortunately, the timing sucked. He had asked me out two weeks after my breakup and I wasn’t ready at all. But everyone was like, “Distract yourself! Best way to get over someone is to blah blah blah.” I talked myself into it, but it was a nice, chill hike. I felt like it was not going to work out because I was thinking way too much about my ex. It was not fair to Mr. Beach Workout, and it was not fair to me. This brief encounter didn’t count as officially dating for me.

After embarking on this journey to heal, I consider myself ready to get back out there. I’m actually excited to date casually and see what is out there for me. I am very honest about the fact that I’m not looking for anything super serious on my Bumble profile. I am enjoying my singledom!

 

Personally, I like first dates. I think they’re fun and if you treat them like nothing big is going to come out of them, it’s cool to meet new people. But oh my, this first date… let’s name him Mr. Red Flags.

Red Flag #1

We met at a local brewery, one I had always wanted to visit and one he knew about as a local. He was waiting outside for a table when I walked over. From the minute I arrived, he was in my personal space. So close at all times, I definitely had to keep stepping back. Oh, and no mask!

Red Flag #2

Every time I answered his question or found a way to connect to something he was saying, he would cut me off and take the spotlight again. I don’t think I spoke much that whole night. At one point, I zoned out and was simply responding, “Interesting!” to everything he shared. Even though it was not interesting.

Red Flag #3

He tried to make me feel bad about getting excited about whales—simply because he had already seen them. Okay… Air isn’t new but I’m not telling him it’s overrated.

Red Flag #4

Jokes based on race. This next sentence is just for him: Bruh. You’re a white male making jokes about how Mexicans name their sports teams, while on a date with a Mexican-American woman sitting right there in front of you, come on! Also, joking about how your jokes don’t land in certain groups doesn’t excuse your lack of self-awareness—in any group. You’re just not funny.

Red Flag #5

His use of race as a way to describe people and what they were doing. They were Asian and taking photos in front of the Mona Lisa, is that supposed to mean something? How did he know they were specifically Chinese? It’s art. Everyone takes photos of art. Casual racism, gtfo.

Red Flag #6

He could not stop talking about his ex-girlfriend. He clearly isn’t over what happened. He definitely needs to heal from that. Dating someone for 11 years and then hopping onto Bumble? Nope!

Red Flag #7

He didn’t like Horchata. (is this non-negotiable? Probably not, but I’d had enough and this was the cherry on top)

I finished my drink and called it a night. I made up some excuse that I had to workout early the next morning. Not really a lie, but enough to get me out of there. He walked me to my car and I could tell he wanted a kiss, but I swerved hard into that hug. Made an awkward comment like, “it was a good hug” just to keep him happy. Ugh…why do we have to tiptoe around our true thoughts and feelings as women? Why do we fear what boys will do if we reject them? He went in for another hug. I drove off the minute I got into my car.

The next morning, he reached out and I said, “nothing romantic could ever happen between us.” His response, “I can’t be friends with someone I am physically attracted to.”

Well, that’s fine with me! I can’t be friends with these types of red flags anyway.

Chances of a second date: Ø